A reader has shared her very painful
ordeal on Tori News for the younger folks to learn from before venturing into
marriage which is a lifetime affair. My
name is Elizabeth from Lagos state, South-West part of Nigeria. I am 40 years
old. I used to work with a multinational firm before I resigned due to health
concerns. Sorry I will withhold other details to conceal my identity. I want to
share my story on this platform so that younger people who are about to get
married will draw lessons from my current predicament to avoid grave lifetime
mistakes. I have been married to my husband for 8 years now and we have two
kids. A boy and a girl aged 4 and 3 respectively.
I got married late and it got to a
point that the frustration of being single started to affect me as my friends
were getting married every weekends. Buying their ‘Aso Ebi’ was like a garment
of shame on me. I went through series of heartbreaks and it got to a point that
I just wanted any kind of man to fill that vacuum of a husband in my life. I
guess I was too myopic to remember marriage is a lifetime affair. I went with a
friend on a Friday night to a popular Nightclub in Victoria Island, Lagos. I
put on the clothes that suited the environment.
I met this young man in his 30s named
Dipo. He was of average height, dark in complexion and looked quite
comfortable. He was a great dancer. I don’t really clubbing because I am an
indoor and reserved person so my dance steps were less impressive. He amazed me
with every move on the dance floor and the way he flew with the rhythm of the
songs. I got carried away staring at him till I unconsciously started clapping
and screaming on top of my voice in appreciation of his dance prowess. That’s
quite unusual of me but at the same time, it was clear the Andre wine I was taking
was getting me tipsy and increasing my excitement.
He noticed me and used that opportunity
to approach me. We got talking. He told me he was working for a top consulting
firm on the Island, Lagos. We later had a brief dance. He was interesting to be
with and full of life. In no time we started dating. Within 4 months, he
proposed to me and I accepted out of gamble. He was such a socialite. He
dresses to kill, his voice alone could turn a lady on and he had the rare gift
of lighting the mood of any sad person. He cared for me and I never lacked
anything even though I earned well when I was working.
One thing I never liked about him was
his attitude towards ladies with big bums. He could commit murder to win their
hearts. He spent his free time watching music stations and his major focus was
on the bums and b*obs of half n*ked models. You need to see the expression on
his face when he watches them. Dipo was unstoppable sexually. He could sleep
with a woman even in a house that is on fire to tell you how desperate he
was. I complained to my friends and he taught me to learn new s*x styles
and get innovative on bed to tie him down. I bought several pornographic films
and kept analyzing them one by one to pick new dimensions of lovemaking and
skills. I even went as far as buying books on s*x to have a sound knowledge and
give my man maximum pleasure but sadly they all failed.
Dipo became a regular visitor at
several hotels. I was tired of being told my husband’s car was parked at
different hotels at night while he gave me the impression he was attending
endless board meetings of his company. The worst happened when my friends
seized the opportunity of his sexcapades to start seducing him in order to have
their shares of his money.
I was shocked to the point of death
when I caught my married long-term friend, Bimpe pants down with my husband on
our matrimonial bed. Bimpe was so engulfed in the hot s*x that she started
cursing me out of ecstasy. That day I was bent of committing suicide if not for
the uncertain fate of my young son at my demise and my unborn child who
deserves a right to live.
Fastforward to the year 2014, Dipo
started falling sick. He became a regular patient at the hospital. The doctor
was finally forced to advice him to go for blood screening. Dipo tested
positive to the dreaded and incurable virus called HIV. He broke the news to me
and instantly I knew I was finished. I went for the test with my heart in my
mouth and as expected, I tested positive to the virus. I did confirmation tests
at different hospitals. We took our kids to the hospital and the boy tested
positive while the girl was negative. The boy’s case was traced to the fact
that he shared the same Hair clipper with his He-goat of a father at a couple
of occasions.
I was tempted to kill Dipo severally
but I never wanted his blood to me on my head. I had to quit my job later on as
my body couldn’t cope with the stress. Right now, Dipo is a changed man and he
seems calm but its too late. We are on anti-retroviral drugs. I feel for the
fate of my son when he grows older. He is innocently paying for the sins of his
irresponsible father.
I am not sure I can ever forgive Dipo. Every
day I live with the pains of the shattered dreams of being the Managing
Director of my former company and traveling around the world to visit the
subsidiaries. I want to use this avenue to advise young ladies feeling
the pressure of being single to fight it and not rush into marriage. Take time
to know your man as a wrong spouse will only make marriage sour and traumatic.
Thanks for sharing my pains with me.
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