Monday, 28 December 2015

My Randy Husband Infected Me and Our Son with HIV


A reader has shared her very painful ordeal on Tori News for the younger folks to learn from before venturing into marriage which is a lifetime affair.  My name is Elizabeth from Lagos state, South-West part of Nigeria. I am 40 years old. I used to work with a multinational firm before I resigned due to health concerns. Sorry I will withhold other details to conceal my identity. I want to share my story on this platform so that younger people who are about to get married will draw lessons from my current predicament to avoid grave lifetime mistakes. I have been married to my husband for 8 years now and we have two kids. A boy and a girl aged 4 and 3 respectively.
I got married late and it got to a point that the frustration of being single started to affect me as my friends were getting married every weekends. Buying their ‘Aso Ebi’ was like a garment of shame on me. I went through series of heartbreaks and it got to a point that I just wanted any kind of man to fill that vacuum of a husband in my life. I guess I was too myopic to remember marriage is a lifetime affair. I went with a friend on a Friday night to a popular Nightclub in Victoria Island, Lagos. I put on the clothes that suited the environment.
I met this young man in his 30s named Dipo. He was of average height, dark in complexion and looked quite comfortable. He was a great dancer. I don’t really clubbing because I am an indoor and reserved person so my dance steps were less impressive. He amazed me with every move on the dance floor and the way he flew with the rhythm of the songs. I got carried away staring at him till I unconsciously started clapping and screaming on top of my voice in appreciation of his dance prowess. That’s quite unusual of me but at the same time, it was clear the Andre wine I was taking was getting me tipsy and increasing my excitement.
He noticed me and used that opportunity to approach me. We got talking. He told me he was working for a top consulting firm on the Island, Lagos. We later had a brief dance. He was interesting to be with and full of life. In no time we started dating. Within 4 months, he proposed to me and I accepted out of gamble. He was such a socialite. He dresses to kill, his voice alone could turn a lady on and he had the rare gift of lighting the mood of any sad person. He cared for me and I never lacked anything even though I earned well when I was working.
One thing I never liked about him was his attitude towards ladies with big bums. He could commit murder to win their hearts. He spent his free time watching music stations and his major focus was on the bums and b*obs of half n*ked models. You need to see the expression on his face when he watches them. Dipo was unstoppable sexually. He could sleep with a woman even in a house that is on fire to tell you how desperate he was.  I complained to my friends and he taught me to learn new s*x styles and get innovative on bed to tie him down. I bought several pornographic films and kept analyzing them one by one to pick new dimensions of lovemaking and skills. I even went as far as buying books on s*x to have a sound knowledge and give my man maximum pleasure but sadly they all failed.
Dipo became a regular visitor at several hotels. I was tired of being told my husband’s car was parked at different hotels at night while he gave me the impression he was attending endless board meetings of his company. The worst happened when my friends seized the opportunity of his sexcapades to start seducing him in order to have their shares of his money.
I was shocked to the point of death when I caught my married long-term friend, Bimpe pants down with my husband on our matrimonial bed. Bimpe was so engulfed in the hot s*x that she started cursing me out of ecstasy. That day I was bent of committing suicide if not for the uncertain fate of my young son at my demise and my unborn child who deserves a right to live.
Fastforward to the year 2014, Dipo started falling sick. He became a regular patient at the hospital. The doctor was finally forced to advice him to go for blood screening. Dipo tested positive to the dreaded and incurable virus called HIV. He broke the news to me and instantly I knew I was finished. I went for the test with my heart in my mouth and as expected, I tested positive to the virus. I did confirmation tests at different hospitals. We took our kids to the hospital and the boy tested positive while the girl was negative. The boy’s case was traced to the fact that he shared the same Hair clipper with his He-goat of a father at a couple of occasions.
I was tempted to kill Dipo severally but I never wanted his blood to me on my head. I had to quit my job later on as my body couldn’t cope with the stress. Right now, Dipo is a changed man and he seems calm but its too late. We are on anti-retroviral drugs. I feel for the fate of my son when he grows older. He is innocently paying for the sins of his irresponsible father.
I am not sure I can ever forgive Dipo. Every day I live with the pains of the shattered dreams of being the Managing Director of my former company and traveling around the world to visit the subsidiaries.  I want to use this avenue to advise young ladies feeling the pressure of being single to fight it and not rush into marriage. Take time to know your man as a wrong spouse will only make marriage sour and traumatic.
Thanks for sharing my pains with me.

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